How Many Children Should I Have?

How Many Children Should I Have? Of course I am not going to tell you the exact number. But in this video I will argue for you to have a bigger family than you maybe had planned. If you are no longer in a position to have children I want you to try to persuade the people in your circle to have bigger families.

You may think I am a little out of line suggesting the number of children you should have but during my lifetime there have been a lot of voices telling you exactly how many kids to have.

For years I was told that two was the absolute maximum. I often heard “One and done.” For more than thirty years that was the official government position of the largest nation on earth. And many voices have argued for none and done. 15% of American women have chosen that option—they have no children.

So when I am arguing about family size I am only taking on a million voices that are already telling you what to do.

First, I need to dispel a few myths:

Children are not more expensive now than they used to be. We are richer than we have ever been and children are more affordable than they have ever been. Over the years I have read analysis by of all people, the Agriculture Dept., warning me that each child would cost between 200 and 300 thousand dollars to raise. That included things like private college and tennis lessons. I have raised nine children. I did not spend close to three million dollars doing it. Government bureaucracies often feel it is necessary to lie to get their point across.

The argument that the world has too many people is absurd. It is arguably the most destructive lie in human history. Practically all the literature on this topic now is the declining birthrate and how that will damage the human race. 

Another myth. People are not having more children than they want. They are having fewer.  On average a family of two would really like to have a third. But certain forces in society discourage that third child. 

So get these myths out of your brain and please listen to my argument for larger families and for large families.

Let me start by stating this is fundamentally an issue between you and God. Shouldn’t we start by asking our heavenly Father, How many children do you want me to have? My students were always going to the Lord and asking who they should marry, what career they should pursue, what college they should attend. Shouldn’t you go to our Lord and at least ask Him how many children we should have?

There are so many blessings in larger families. First, and one that is most often overlooked, is the blessing children are to each other. A colleague of mine once argued that he could devote more time to his two children then I could to my nine. And he was right. But I pointed out to him that my nine children could minister to each other more than he could to his two kids and that they would be doing it for more than fifty years after I die.

Secondly, you produce a much larger extended family. A number of years ago an article in the Federalist analyzed this statistically. If you have two children and each of them have two kids then each of them will have two cousins. But if you just one more—three kids—and each of them have three then your grandchildren will have six cousins. Four kids? Your grandchildren will have 12 cousins. This is very important for your grandchildren in the living out of their lives. Cousins, aunts, and uncles can be very important.

Third, in large families children are far more likely to turn to each other than the government in times of need. And as you well know family is a much better source of help than the state. Your siblings respond to your needs a lot quicker and more effectively than a bureaucrat in some distant office.

Fourth, more children add more creativity, energy, and enthusiasm to the human race. A generation ago the economist Julian Simon wrote a book entitled “The Ultimate Resource.” When lots of policy makers were wringing their hands about the world having too many people and thus running out of resources Simon said they had it all wrong. The ultimate resource was not oil or gold or corn but the human mind. He said we needed more human minds attacking the problems we were facing. He was right. I would like to see parents produce many more minds for the benefit of the human race. Here's an argument from the online publication Quillette: “Whether you end up accepting or rejecting our argument, any attempt to show that we should have fewer kids should include the social benefits of children as well as any social costs they create. Reasonably intelligent people born in developed countries have access to education and opportunities that can transform them into idea machines.” Those children you are having are idea machines. But you already know this if you spend any time around children.

Fifth, because we are having far fewer children we are threatening the very existence of our society. Populations are imploding all over. There simply are not enough people to take care of us as we age. In Italy 22% of the population lives on a pension. A pension supplied by a shrinking number of Italians who are of working age. Japan is already losing population. Japan sells more diapers to the elderly than for infants. Germany is losing population. So is Russia. And dozens of more countries will join that list in the near future. In America social security is in jeopardy for the simple reason we are running out of workers. Bottom line: We need more kids.

Please pray about what I have said in this video. And may our God, the one who said to populate and replenish the earth, bless you this day in a mighty way.

More resources: Ross Douthat urges you to have just one more child: https://www.plough.com/en/topics/life/parenting/the-case-for-one-more-child

People would like to have more children than they are: https://unherd.com/thepost/the-progressive-way-to-boost-birth-rates/?mc_cid=ebd25c5c8d&mc_eid=5b400e1632

Quillette article arguing you should have more children: https://quillette.com/2017/02/02/if-youre-reading-this-essay-you-should-probably-have-more-children/

The liberal writer, Matt Yglesias, argues for having more children: https://bookshop.org/books/one-billion-americans-the-case-for-thinking-bigger/9780593190210