Is Interracial Adoption a Good Idea? How We Decided

Is Interracial Adoption a Good Idea? Here’s the Process We Used in Deciding

35 years ago my wife and I felt led to adopt children. We ended up adopting three boys.  I want to share what we considered in making that decision and how it can help you or someone you know in deciding on interracial adoption.

After attending a missions conference my wife came to me and said God had spoken to her about having a large family and adopting children. After much prayer and, I must admit, a good deal of fear, I came to share her view. In the providence of God we adopted three sons. I want to look at this process through the lens of a Christian father although these considerations will apply to anyone considering adoption.

My wife wanted to find an adoption agency that would be committed not only to the welfare of the child but the birth mother as well. Once we settled on an agency we then had to start sorting through children. This is a bizarre process in which you feel like you are playing God. You have to go down an agency’s checklist. Will you take a child that has a crack-addicted birth mother; or a cleft palate; would you take a child with six fingers? If you take a black child will you be willing to teach him or her about black culture? And on and on.

We finally had to decide what we were and were not going to do. 

Here is a list ten things we considered in adopting children. Most of the points apply to all adoptions. You have to make an adoption plan that is directed at your specific circumstances.

1.   We decided to adopt a male child for the simple reason, at least at that time, male children were harder to place. Some families have the idea that girls are easier to raise. I have not found that to be the case but maybe for some families it’s true. At any rate, we decided to adopt boys.

2.   We decided to adopt healthy children without a lot of special needs. We did this because this would give us more time and resources to adopt more children. For those families who adopt children with special needs—and this includes my own children who have adopted special needs kids—I applaud you and pray God’s blessing on your efforts. But we decided on kids who did not have special needs.

3.   We chose to adopt Infants. Every week a child is in an orphanage or foster home affects how well they will bond with their new family.  When we were asked, “How young?”, my wife said she would like to bring the baby home from the hospital. As things happened, we got our boys at 7 weeks, 10 weeks, and 13 months.

4.   We decided to adopt children of color knowing they are harder to place. As Christians we believe our own theology. We are all descendants of the same human parents, and as it says in Genesis 1:27, all human beings are created in the image of God, no matter what color they happen to be. Color did not matter to us.

5.   Christian theology notwithstanding, race matters. Color matters. So early on we made the decision to adopt more than one child. As I told my wife, I do not want my adopted children looking around the dinner table at all white faces. My adopted children are now adults and they love their family and they love their siblings. But they have told me that they were very glad to grow up in a home with other black people present.

6.   It was my preference to have birth children first so they could care for and minister to our adopted children. And in God’s goodness this happened. My older children, and all our birth children, have been a wonderful and decisive factor in ministering to our adopted children. And visa versa. Our adopted children have had a wonderfully positive impact on our birth children.

7.   We adopted children because that’s what Christians do. Christians have practiced adoption in every culture and in every era in the history of Christianity. When people asked me why I adopted children, especially children of color, I answered, “It’s what we do.” I have another video on why adoption is one of the richest words in the Christian’s vocabulary. We are not natural born members of the family of God. According to the Bible we enter God’s family through adoption. I used to tell my sons, “I’m adopted.” You have been adopted twice, but I have been adopted once.

8.   Do NOT allow yourself to imagine for a moment you are doing the kid a favor. Children pick up on this and resent it. You adopt children because you love children and believe you are doing the will of God, not because you are performing some heroic humanitarian deed. You do not have birth children in order to do them a favor. Neither do you adopt children for that reason.

9.   One of the best things we did was homeschool all our children. When we read literature on interracial adoption there was always a big section on how to help your black children get along in a white school. We never had that problem. In fact, Mitchell Home Academy had diversity numbers that were the envy of every school in my county.

10.From the earliest possible age, all your children need to hear the Gospel. There is nothing like knowing the Lord and being indwelt by the Holy Spirit to help you navigate the harshness of life no matter what color you are.  I may be speaking to people who do not define themselves as Christians, but you already have accepted a key element of Christian theology—the unity and equal value of all members of the human race. This idea originates exclusively in the Bible and has not been believed by people anywhere on earth, except those influenced by the teaching of the Bible.

So there you have it. Ten things to consider in an interracial adoption. I pray that God will lead many of you to adopt and encourage others to adopt. There are some important resources below.  Please take a look at them. And may our God bless you this day in a mighty way.

More Resources: “What Does the Bible Say About Adoption?” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2cUQrVJAa4&t=64s

Concerning the equal value of all human beings see chapter one of Seven Ideas that Changed the World. https://www.amazon.com/Ideas-That-Changed-World-civilizations-ebook/dp/B085MM79ZB/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=seven+ideas+that+changed+the+world&qid=1584653313&sr=8-1